What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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