Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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