I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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