high people should be assigned attendants
Come see our sink grown plant.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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