At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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