I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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