you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize