I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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