sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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