so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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