Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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