Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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