He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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