Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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