He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I need water and some morals
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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