"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize