i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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