i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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