I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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