i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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