I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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