Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize