Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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