Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize