Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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(484): Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture http://tfl.nu/aclr

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(917): View more from New York City

But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

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(917): But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs. http://tfl.nu/w3j8

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(971): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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(971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx

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(207): View more from Maine

i will never coherently bang her

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(207): i will never coherently bang her http://tfl.nu/z0d8

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(301): View more from Maryland

This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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(301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye

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(720): View more from Colorado

he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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(720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw

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(416): View more from Toronto

You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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(416): You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill.. http://tfl.nu/sqyp

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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(570): I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking. http://tfl.nu/bpgb

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(303): View more from Colorado

We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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(303): We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is. http://tfl.nu/mbfy

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(817): View more from Texas

i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago

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(817): i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago http://tfl.nu/3uom

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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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(303): I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen. http://tfl.nu/li1t

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(240): View more from Maryland

She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...

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(240): She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room... http://tfl.nu/pp22

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

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(479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu

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