I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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