According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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