Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Boobs speak an international language.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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