is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize