Kiss
Puke
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize