Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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