Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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