sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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