i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just had sex on a roof
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize