i permit you to call me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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