Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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