i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize