There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize