I think I died a long time ago.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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