Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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