i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
a search helicopter?!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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