my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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