They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
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Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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