I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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