Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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