I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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