College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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