I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize