Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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