I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize